of every season of grief or suffering, when the hand of God
seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned,
new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably,
the conviction came that God does "move in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform."
After losing my career, family and health, I remained unconvinced
that my way of life needed a second look. My drinking and
other drug use were killing me, but I had never met a recovering
person or an A.A. member. I thought I was destined to die
alone and that I deserved it. At the peak of my despair, my
infant son became critically ill with a rare disease. Doctors'
efforts to help him proved useless. I redoubled my efforts
block my feelings, but now the alcohol had stopped working.
I was left staring into God's eyes, begging for help. My introduction
to A.A. came within days, through an odd series of coincidences,
and I have remained sober ever since. My son lived and his
disease is in remission. The entire episode convinced me of
my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Today
my son and I thank God for his intervention.