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Biography:
"New Vision for a
Scuptor"
Fred
(last name unknown),
New York City.
(p.
426 in 2nd edition.)
"His
conscience hurt him
as much as his drinking.
But that was years ago."
Fred
stopped drinking in May
of 1937, after praying
to God for help. He was
then not quite forty.
He joined A.A. in May
of 1947.
He
had a wonderful childhood.
His was a very close family.
His parents were very
successful and they had
luxury and beauty in their
lives and they were truly
appreciative of all they
had. The family was Jewish,
although not orthodox,
and keenly alive to the
beauty of religion.
His
two older brothers were
good students, but not
artistic. Fred was a very
bad student but very much
an artist. When he showed
talent as a sculptor the
entire family encouraged
him.
When
World War I broke out,
he remembered what his
parents had told him so
often; how grateful he
should be to be in the
United States. His grandfathers
had both come from countries
in Europe where Jews were
persecuted, and they wanted
to live and be a part
of the "land of the free."
Because
his brothers were both
married, he felt he should
be the one to join the
Army. He was sent to France,
where he discovered he
could drink everyone else
under the table. About
three days before the
Armistice, he was wounded
when a truck he was riding
in was blown up. He woke
up in Vichy a couple of
days later to learn that
he had an injury to his
spine.
After
the war, he seemed to
have no problem with alcohol,
except when he did drink
he always wanted to out-drink
everyone else, and was
drinking more and more
himself.
He
married in 1920, and in
1928 he and his wife visited
France with their two
children. There he started
drinking brandy to help
him sleep.
By
this time he had developed
a good reputation as an
artist and was very successful
at his work. When he realized
that his family was worried
about his drinking, he
started drinking at his
studio and at bars rather
than at home.
This
secret drinking caused
him to feel very guilty.
He was very unhappy and
knew his family was unhappy.
The worst part was that
in his guilt he lost God.
He felt he had no right
to pray to God, no right
to go into the temple
or church. When they had
lived in Rome he used
to go into one of the
cathedrals every night
on his way home from work
and, to him, a house of
God was a house of God
and was beautiful and
dedicated to His worship.
Now he was robbed of God,
because he was so ashamed.
One
day he was asked to help
the crippled son of his
"wash-woman" Gabrielle,
with his artwork. He was
happy to do so, but when
he arrived he was drunk.
At the door he prayed
to God to help him. Miraculously
he was able to spend two
and-a-half hours helping
the boy. But when he left
he started drinking again.
He didn't remember much
about the next ten days.
But when he remembered
how he had prayed to help
the crippled boy, he again
turned to God for help.
He didn't drink again
for the next ten years,
but said they were miserable
years.
A
week or two before Decoration
Day 1947, a friend asked
him how he was doing with
his alcohol problem. He
answered that he had no
alcohol problem and that
on Decoration Day he and
his wife were going to
try a bottle of champagne.
His
friend was an A.A. member
and asked him, before
he took that first drink,
to go to a meeting with
him. At the meeting the
leader stated "Alcoholism
is an incurable, progressive
disease. Whether you are
dry one year, ten years
or fifty years, you're
still one drink away from
a drunk."
Fred's
reaction was "Thank God
I didn't take that first
drink! Thank God I am
here."
He
remembered what his mother
had said years before
when he came home drunk.
Weeping, she said, "This
must be somehow good.
This cannot be all negative.
Some good must come out
of it."
Toward
the end of his first A.A.
meeting, he heard about
the Twelfth Step. Immediately,
his mother's words came
to his mind. "That's somehow
good," he thought. "Thank
God," he wrote, "I have
been able to turn it into
"Somehow good."
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